Nicole -I can relate to what you are saying.

I would like very much to see where exactly you see people encouraging obesity as “healthy”, because none of the women in the above linked image are “unhealthy”, except perhaps the VS girls.

Thank you again for posting this – I am 200+% in agreement!Karen – Olympia, WA

Thank you for your post. As a mom of a daughter, age 19, I can tell you that the trend to find your self worth in your looks is born at an early age. However, my daughter is strong and conversant and sometimes a pain in the ass. She does get down on herself for her weight 5’7″ and 170 lbs, but she is beautiful both inside and out and I couldn’t be more proud. At 48, as a recently divorced stay at home mom, I went back to school to get a business degree (graduated in 2011 -Thank You very much :)) and showed my kids that it isn’t only important to get an education but to use your brain to take care of yourself. I am constantly challenged to maintain a youthful appearance in order to maintain my place in a 20 something world where I now work and play. It’s wise to give kids a balanced perspective. Our inner self that is reflected in our outward appearance, is displayed, not for accolades, but to allow their self love to shine through.


Stop telling me what to wear – Getting Out of Line

Great article. I think every part is needed…I have 3 girls and a boy, all grown up now. I have always told them they were gorgeous and I have always had discussions on all different topics, listening to their ideas. They have never had any “look-issues” and always felt comfortable whatever the situation. You should tell your kids that they are beautiful, but it shouldn’t be gender or look-specific, just basic. Don’t chuck one for the other. A daughter loves hearing her father say that she is beautiful, she will feel it forever in her heart and that matters.


I Don’t Care if You Wear Diapers as a 30-Year Old, but …

I partly agree with this article: that there is too great an emphasis on physical appearance and physical perfection in our western culture. However I don’t think that focussing on a child’s intelligence and achievements solves the problem. A child who gets their identity from achievement can suffer HUGE pitfalls, just like the child whose identity is in their appearance. How do they handle failure? What if they are not ‘the best’? A child needs to know they are UNCONDITIONALLY loved, respected, thought of as beautiful, precious and a treasured child – not that they need to be able to look good or read well or be intelligent to succeed and please people they look to for affirmation.

I don’t want men to be telling me what to wear ..

I don’t think that noticing, commenting or having beauty is offensive or condescending in and of itself. If I understand correctly, the main problem you seem to be addressing is that most of the beauty that exists today in America is unnatural, unsustainable and causes feelings of inferiority and ugliness when one can’t keep up with it.
I love the conversation you had with that little girl but it should still be okay to fluff her dress and spin around all the while telling her how cute she is. My mother always told us we were beautiful and she meant it, even when we suffered from extreme fashion and beauty faux pas.
Nice piece.

WHAT TO DO WHEN YOU WANT TO WEAR MAKEUP – …

Having said that, the compliments need to have a follow up – life can’t just be about looks of course. We tell our daughter constantly how even though she looks beautiful, that isn’t very important – what is important is that she get good grades and learn new things all the time. Its important to give back to the world and to those who are in need.

WHAT TO DO WHEN YOU WANT TO WEAR MAKEUP

I don’t think that noticing, commenting or having beauty is offensive or condescending in and of itself. If I understand correctly, the main problem you seem to be addressing is that most of the beauty that exists today in America is unnatural, unsustainable and causes feelings of inferiority and ugliness when one can’t keep up with it.
I feel that in Israel, where I live, there are so many types of beauty both natural and tweaked that a woman can really feel comfortable dressing and primping herself as she sees fit without negating her overall worth as a person.
I love the conversation you had with that little girl but it should still be okay to fluff her dress and spin around all the while telling her how cute she is. My mother always told us we were beautiful and she meant it, even when we suffered from extreme fashion and beauty faux pas.
Nice piece.